Malaysia

Day 7. Oh what a night... It was pitch black, completely black, nil light in the night 'cept for the tiny orange-glowing 'shrooms that were few and far between. The sounds in the night were amazing though... things falling from trees, deafening cicadas, frogs and what sounded like an old man saying "quack".... "quack".
Gathered my heeby-jeeby, semi-wet, out-of-order, already messed-up stuff together and we all went hi-ho walking again! More sweat... lots more. At a random river we couldn't cross (not sure if the guides planned this or not!), we did a D.I.Y. bridge - it was really cool, we destroyed some bamboo and trees, bould them together, madea a hand rail and all! Even better is that fact that it supported us all, and we made it across the river, without getting wet! We just got attacked by mozzes and odd bugs as we were around the water for too long!
After crossing many more slightly better-made bridges and walking for an eternity, it was very much relieving to find some sort of a fellow-hikers-and-expeditioners centre at the end of the supposedly "brief" hike. It even had showers! What a relief, now I can be slightly less smelly for a few minutes.
Our "beds" for the night would be the floor of an open-sided small wooden band-stand-esque structure on some kind of flat grassy area. This platform gave us a good chance to sort our bags out, dry some kit in the sun etc. Now was the time for a good old general sort out and clean up! After doing all that, we played some games (hand-table ball tennis), ate some odd fruit and stayed under our shelter as it began to rain mid-afternoon...
And dear god, it rained! For ELEVEN hours, hard, non-stop, it continued that evening... We almost had to evacuate our hut as the nearby river edged closer. We were all arguing about whether it was really necessary, but it could've been really serious. I think I had started my "leadership" of the group at this point, so my say had some relevance. I didn't want to leave and run. When we arrived the river was about 30-40 metres away... by about 10pm it was getting on for 10 metres away from us. It had swelled so very incredibly. Something I'll never forget. We eventually didn't leave, and slept in the "hut", still fearing the river... as well as wild dogs possibly seeing us as easy pickings and fancying to eat us!

My planes tickets are wet...

Day 6. Bag unpacking, repacking and sorting every day is becoming an arse! As is the once-a-day anti-malaria pill-taking. I have to chew the little bastard as I can't ever swallow pills whole. It tastes of "not nice". Mid-morning, we left Planet Kinabalu hostel and mini-bussed from Kota Kinabalu to the nearby Crocker Range to start the first of much walking! Out of the minibusses and plastered with DEET, we sorted our backpacks out for ten or so minutes. My ancient backpack was particularly dud, and in need of some attention!
Past plants that curled up in fear if you touched them, we began to hike. And hike we did! Soon enough, just up the road, we had our first encounter with the very unstable and wobbly rope bridges that Borneo is particularly famed for! Don't look down! It was ok crossing it, despite all the wobbling and jumping up and down to make it wobble more!
We were entering the rainforest - something so amazing. However, I had no time to think about that as all my energy was focused on me keeping walking! Alot of the walk was uphill, and very much so over dodgy terrain. Add to that the HEAT!... think of hiking on the hottest day in England ever. Not nice... and that's not including the HUMIDITY! Up to 90% for god's sake! This was going to get seriously sweaty... and because of the humidity, very little sweat evaporates off you. It just stays on your body, smearing your clothes until it looks like you've just jumped into the sea still wearing them! It was FAR from pleasant!
During one particularly steep uphill section, Kyle was attacked by razor sharp leaves, cutting him up a fair bit! We all got scratched, but somehow it was Kyle who managed to come off worse! This walking in the sheer heat and humidity is deadly enough without the plant life attacking us!
My platypus (squishy water bottle) was running dry, as were my back-up water supplies in my bag. You drink far too much... but instead off pissing it out, it's instantly released as non-stop sweat... but if we all smell, no-one smells, yah?! It was even too sweaty to wear my dear wide-brim hat that was vital for blocking out the nauseatingly powerful sunlight! Well that's my excuse for not keeping it on - the real reason is that it just looked silly!
Mmm... sweaty! Mmm... wet feet! The two thoughts that frequently occured in my head as we walked on... and on... and on... and on... and... then, eventually...
Walking down a particularly steep downhill section, we reached our campsite - a roughly cleared area in the rainforest. Trees were everywhere, looking all beautiful. We soon accessorised them all with hammox, put up shoddily! The only other time we'd practised putting them up was back in Hounslow - slightly different to the depths of the jungle! Understandibly, we took ages sorting everything out! In the end, they were put up alright (before the semi-heavy rain thank god!), if not a bit close to other people. Well, I say they were put up alright, but Soos' hammock quickly collapsed after she tested it by lying in it. The ropes came undone, and Soos and hammock fell with a thump, almost onto some candles! Me being lovely just stood and couldn't stop laughing... not helping her! She was less amused...
Our campsite is at the top of another steep slippery slope, with a Disney-looking river at the bottom of the valley.
Back up at the top of the hill, we dug a shit-hole... literally. Little did we know (until the smell) that we picked to dig in an area that was previously used for very similar actions!
Back down the slope, and as night drew in, we cooked some moderately tasty grub before being shown by our guides how everything could be made of dear bamboo. Yes, EVERYTHING! An evening with the guides was an evening well spent! We did some tribal dances, with each of us doing our own specialised dance, some of us dressing up in leaves! To everyone's surprise we weren't as tired as we'd thought, and got some good moves in! We even learnt some local chant... "Ilun Busak Bah Kui!" I only hope that the guides weren't taking the piss and making us chant "We love big willies!"...

Tonight is our first night in the jungle, the first night in hammox! With candles dotted around our campsite to ward off monsters, it was off to sleep in the over-sized trees... a new experience, and one that is completely unforgettable!

Day 5 if I do say so... "A day in KK", making arrangements, getting sweaty, heat-rashed and supplies (lots of bottles of water!) The hostel's hardly superb (far from it!) but I'm not complaining. It has it's individual charm... somewhere. Sleep consists of bunk beds, mozzies, lizards & cockroaches... and breakfast consists of some mangled toast, egg (urgh!), THREE beans und a frankfurter, ja? Yum yum for my rumbly tum!
KK's big and smelly, but lurvely all the same. Goddam it IS hot here!
What's more, cars in KK all seem to be new and shiny (and Protons!) - a stark contrast to some of the shabbier buildings and pathways. If only the inhabitants of KK would spend as much money on their streets as they did on their cars, there'd be far fewer times that I'd got me ankle injuries. Huge drains ran alongside most roads, instantly proving to be death traps for careless, casual or drunk walkers! We all just generally bobbed up and down along some roads that had peaks in the middle! Going by foot here is quite a hassle!
Our first night out in Borneo! What to do?! The local, "Cock & Bull" for drinks methinks! It was
Moth 1 Full Image
A Big Moth!a really cool pub, better than many UK ones I've been in. It even had good alcohol supplies! It was right by the sea, so had a nice breeze to cool us all down! A temporary reprieve from the 24hr sweating...
With drinks reasonably cheap, getting drunk was our aim... until Adam banned shots - "anti-social"... meh. It was still a great evening - we were all slowly settling in, getting to know each other better.

The night whiled away very nicely, under a haze of cigarettes and shisha pipe smoking...

Day 4. Although day's 3, 4 and 5 merged into one horrible mess! We arrived at Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia early morning their time... I think?! We quikkly transfered to anther smaller flight (Kuala Lumpur - Kota Kinabalu) to get to Borneo.
Sitting next to Sara, it was a shorter, less luxurious flight, but was amazing to see uninhabited tropical islands below the plane! I also saw my first glimpse of the rainforest... our future home!
Off the plane... into the HOT. Damn hot. We were now in KK, leaving the airport, bags on back... sweat patches growing. We surely can't ever survive in this kind of temperature!? We walked out of the airport complex along a short road, up to a major road, already feeling the heat! Our first problems began when we decided to get a taxi to go to a hostel we'd decided upon - "Planet Kinabalu". It was all fine and dandy being squashed into a taxi bus designed to carry 12... with 15 of us, plus 2 locals and 2 drivers. Plus bags. It was all fine and dandy recklessly driving into KK at crazy speeds, taking corners that mushed us altogether. What wasn't fine was us trying to be stupidly overcharged, by 3 or 4 times the cost! (Although it was still very comparatively cheap compared to UK prices!) The drivers realised we'd just arrived, and so thought were we stupid tourists who wouldn't realise that they'd changed the price... they were wrong! I was in charge of finances, so tried to bargain... failed... called in the back-up (the rest of them all!) We eventually settled at a cheaper price, and after getting some change at a random shop, avoided being uber-duped...
However, before the pay arguments had begun, the drivers had kindly driven us all the way to our hostel - "Planet Kinabalu". We buzzed to get in, went up a few flights of stairs, heavy bags on back, and dumped our kit in the reception area. We spent the rest of the first day relaxing, having meetings and exploring the very local area. It was an early night, as everyone was so very tired!

...The outside world can see into the first floor toilet whilst I'm having a poo! Behind you as you sit down, it's basically an open window by some metal stairs. And the lizards around the toilet basin don't help either!

"This shit is bananas!"